Olivia stepped into the interrogation room, nodding at Elliot who was standing with his back to the wall behind Serra.

 

The small blonde was slouched in a chair, an angry pout on her face as her fingers tapped rapidly against the tabletop.  When she saw Olivia, she sat up straight, her eyes flashing with anger.  “You have no right to drag me down here!  This is harassment!”

 

Olivia raised her eyebrows.  “How do you figure that?”  She leaned on the window sill, gripping the edge with her hands.

 

“Shelly told me you went to the house, and then to my work?” Serra spat.  “What would you call it?”

 

“Doing our jobs?”

 

“Your jobs, right!  That’s rich!”  She glanced over her shoulder at Stabler.  “And don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do!  With your trained ape breathing down my neck and you standing so I’m forced to look up at you!  I’ve seen all the tricks before.  You don’t intimidate me!”

 

Olivia almost smiled.  Tough little thing.  “Spend a lot of time in custody do you?”

 

Serra leaned her head to the side as she shot the detective a scorching look.  “As if you didn’t know.”

 

“Okay, look, you seem to be suffering from some paranoid delusion that we’re out to get you…”

 

“Paranoid?”  Tate tensed.  “Was I paranoid when I got dragged down here the last four times?  Was I paranoid when I caught that guy following me taking all those pictures?  I’m not stupid, detective.  I know Sam’s behind this.”

 

Olivia blinked.  “Are you referring to Samantha or Samuel Wainscott?”

 

Serra only snorted.

 

“You must mean Samuel, since Samantha’s dead.”  The detective shrugged, going for the shock value, hoping to shake some kind of reaction loose.  She watched the blonde closely, taking in the range of emotions that flashed across her features.  When one finally settled on her face, she reacted to it just a moment too late.

 

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!”  Serra jumped out of her chair, lunging at the brunette so quickly that Elliot wasn’t prepared for it.  The look on his face would have been comical if Olivia had time to think about it.  Instead she found herself staring at a well thrown right hook.

 

Tate’s fist was small, but her forward momentum and her anger lent her a good deal of strength.  The force of the blow snapped Olivia’s head backwards where it connected solidly with the glass of the two-way mirror.  Seeing stars, she slid down into a crouching position as Elliot grabbed Serra and tried to hold her still.

 

The small blonde was enraged and she yanked her body violently, trying to break free from Elliot’s grasp.  “YOU’RE SICK!  YOU’RE A SICK TWISTED BITCH AND SO IS SHE!  I KNEW SHE WAS FUCKED UP BUT I NEVER THOUGHT SHE WOULD GO THIS FAR!!”

 

The door opened and two female officers rushed in.  They took control of the prisoner as Cragen stepped into the room.  “Get her out of here!”  He barked.  “Throw her in the tombs, let her cool off before we book her for assaulting an officer!”

 

Serra continued to rant and scream as she was dragged away.  When she was gone, Cragen reached down and pulled Olivia to her feet.

 

The brunette had one hand wrapped around the back of her head and the other on her jaw.

 

“Are you okay?”  He pealed her hand away and checked the back of her skull for blood.  “You’re going to have a nasty bump but there’s no laceration.”

 

“So, did that change your mind about Tate’s ability to be involved in Samantha’s death?” Elliot snapped.  “She’s obviously capable of violence!”

 

“But she still wouldn’t have the necessary strength!”  Olivia snapped back, her head pounding.

 

“You couldn’t tell that from the condition of your mouth!”

 

Olivia pulled her hand away from her jaw to find it stained with blood.  Turning around, she looked at herself in the mirror.  Seeing no obvious damage, she pulled down her lower lip, growling at the cut that ran along the inner edge.  “Shit.”  She whispered.  It wasn’t bad, but it was definitely the kind of thing that would drive her crazy until it healed.  Sighing, she turned back to her partner.  “The mirror did more damage than Tate did.”

 

“Liv, she’s obviously unstable…” He began.

 

Her voice was small, tired.  “You weren’t looking at her face.” 

 

“Meaning?”

 

“Meaning, I saw her eyes.  The shock, the disbelief… the rage.”  She glanced at Cragen and caught him looking at the floor.  So he had seen it too.  “She didn’t know…”  Olivia sighed heavily, rubbing her temples to try and stave off the headache that was brewing behind her eyes.  “She didn’t know.”

 

            *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *

 

Elliot looked across his desk, watching quietly as Olivia dumped four Tylenol into her palm.  Taking a deep breath, she tossed them into her mouth and chewed. 

 

Grimacing, he cleared his throat.  “Listen, Liv…  I just-“

 

She waved her hand at him.  “Forget it.  I didn’t expect her to jump at me any more than you did.  It wasn’t your fault.  I tried for shock value and got exactly what I deserved.”

 

He frowned, knowing there was no point in arguing with her.  “You really think she didn’t know?”

 

“I know she didn’t.”

 

“Okay.”  He nodded.  “Still, she might have information that could help the investigation.  But we’re not going to get anything out of her tonight.  I’m going home.  You should too.”  He stood and walked towards the door, stopping to drop a comforting hand on her shoulder.

 

Olivia placed her hand on top of his for a moment, but didn’t look up until he had left the squad room.  When he was gone, she stared at the phone on her desk for several long minutes before picking up the receiver and dialing the number from memory.

 

“You have reached Alexandra Cabot.  I am unavailable at the moment.  Please leave a message and I will return your call.”

 

“Alex?”  She said softly.  “If you’re there please pick up.”  There was no answer.  Sighing, she lowered her head until it rested on her desk.  “Look, I know what you must be thinking… I know I screwed up, but I can explain.  Please, Alex…”  Frustrated, she began to beat her forehead lightly against the desktop.

 

“Olivia?  What are you doing?”

 

She snapped her head up, regretting it immediately when she was hit by a wave of dizziness.  Grinding her teeth, she smiled tightly at Cragen’s concerned look.  “Nothing!”   She dropped the phone back into its cradle as she stood up.  “I was just going to head home.”

 

He nodded.  “Come on, I’ll drive you.”

 

            *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *

 

Across town, Alex sat on her couch, raising a glass of wine to her lips as she listened to Olivia’s message.  She heard Cragen in the background and the panic that crept into the detective’s voice before she hung up the phone.  She hit the button and played it again, and then once more.

 

Leaning her head back, she balanced her wine glass on her thigh as she contemplated the ceiling.  She felt like a fool.  She knew she should just pick up the phone, give Olivia the chance to explain herself but she couldn’t seem to make herself do it. 

 

Alex knew the betrayal she was feeling was blown out of proportion, but she couldn’t change how she felt.  It had been a long time since she had allowed anyone to get under her skin the way that Olivia had.  The last time had been almost five years earlier; it had nearly cost her her career and she had sworn she would never put herself in that position again.

 

And she had been so careful.  Trying to keep her distance, trying to stay professional, trying not to stare too long or spend too much time around the alluring detective.

 

But, oh… their arguments…

 

Alex took a deep breath, her pulse racing as she remembered the verbal brawls she had engaged in with headstrong detective.  The way she would purposely bait the brunette just to see the fire burn brighter in those incredible eyes, causing the deep auburn to lighten until it was almost the color of a newly minted penny.  She admired her tenacity, her intelligence and her commitment, but what she craved was Olivia’s passion.

 

For a while the arguments had been enough.  But then, somewhere along the way, something changed.  

 

Olivia had started smiling at her.

 

Small secretive smiles that haunted her for days, the kind that involved more than just the detective’s lips.

 

And the glances… How many times had she looked up to find the brunette’s eyes sliding away from some point on her body, her ears slightly pink as she looked anywhere but at her?  And, if she were to be completely honest, how many times had she caught herself watching Olivia when the older woman was unaware?

 

Sighing, Alex took a long drink.  She blamed the warmth in her body on the alcohol she had consumed, laughing bitterly at the hollowness of the words in her own mind.

 

She could rationalize as much as she wanted to, but in the end her heart would always drag her right back to the truth.

 

She wanted Olivia Benson.  Needed her in ways that had nothing to do with court cases, police badges or handcuffs…

 

Okay… Maybe the handcuffs…

 

Alex’s eyebrows rose as her mind went in a direction she hadn’t expected, her cheeks flushing bright red as she tipped her glass back and allowed the last of the crimson liquid to slide over her tongue.

 

This was exactly the problem!  She could barely finish a thought about the woman without short circuiting!  How would she ever be able to function if they actually…

 

No.  She shook her head as she stood up, sliding the empty glass onto the dining room table as she headed for her bedroom.  It just can’t happen. 

 

I’ve got too damn much to lose.

 

            *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *

 

Saturday 8:00 AM

 

Olivia looked up, nodding silently at Elliot as he walked into the bullpen.  She finished reading through the information they had on Serra Tate while he got a cup of coffee and settled himself at desk across from her.

 

“How long you been here?”

 

Olivia shrugged.  “About an hour.”  She could feel his eyes on her, could sense the compassion he was directing at her and it wasn’t something she was ready to deal with.  Snapping her head up, she glared at him.  “What?”

 

“I know you’ve been kicking yourself about this all night.”  He said gently.  “There would never have been good way for her to find out, Liv.”

 

“I know that!  I did my job.  And I would do it again.  ” She leaned back in her chair with a sigh.  “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”  She flipped the cover closed on Serra’s file, tapping her fingers on top of it.  “We’re missing something here, Elliot.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I’ve been going through all of the info we have on this girl, including the stuff Wainscott dropped off, and there are still holes big enough to drive a Lexus through.”

 

“They bring her up yet?”

 

Olivia nodded.  “She’s in room two.  Let me take this one?”

 

Her partner studied her for a moment before raising one eyebrow sarcastically.  “Sure you’ll be safe?”

 

Standing, she slid the file under her arm before flipping up her middle finger as she walked away.

 

When she stepped into the interrogation room, Olivia immediately motioned for the guard on duty to leave.  She pulled out a chair and sat down, quietly contemplating the woman in front of her.

 

Serra Tate sat with her head down, her face cradled in her palms; her slim shoulders shaking violently as wrenching sobs tore through her body.  On the table in front of her was a copy of the New York Times, the same one Cragen had shown her on Thursday.

 

“You weren’t lying.”  Her voice was barely a whisper.  “She really is dead.”

 

“Yes.”  Olivia said gently.

 

“Why?  Who would do that?”  The blonde raised her head, staring at the detective through red-rimmed eyes.  “The paper said… it said…”  She put her hand over her mouth.

 

Olivia slid a small trash can towards her, pursing her lips as she watched the young women become violently ill.   “We don’t know.  That’s what we’re trying to figure out.  Where were you last Tuesday night?”

 

Serra looked up at her.  “You think I could have done that?  That I could have hurt Sam like that? I loved her!”

 

“Then where were you Serra?”

 

“I was at home!”  She snapped. 

 

“There seems to be some confusion as to just where that is.”  Olivia replied calmly.

 

Serra sighed.  “I live with Shelley.  I have for the last three and a half months.”

 

“And before that?”

 

“Before that I lived with Samantha.”

 

“What was the nature of your relationship?”

 

The blonde’s eyes welled up with tears.  “We were lovers.”

 

Olivia felt something inside her chest tighten but her gaze never wavered.  “Was anyone with you Tuesday night through Wednesday morning?”

 

“Shelley.  We were studying together.”

 

“All night?”

 

“We’re both in the same class…”  She nodded absently.  “Poly-Psy at NYMCC.  Mid-Terms are next week.” 

 

“I’d ask if Shelley will corroborate your alibi, but she wasn’t very pleasant to us the last time we were there.  You mind telling me why?”

 

“Sammy…she paid for everything when we were together and she was used to getting her way.  I guess that’s what happens when Mommy has money and Daddy has power.”  She ran her fingers through her hair.  “She didn’t like it when I left.  She made things…hard.”

 

“So basically you were kept.”

 

The blonde’s eyes narrowed dangerously.  “I’m not a dog detective.”

 

“Why did you leave?” Olivia looked at the younger woman intently.  “I mean, you said you loved her.”

 

Serra sighed.  “When I met Sammy… It was like a dream come true, you know?  I’d just moved here from Wisconsin; I barely knew anybody.  I was living in some dump assigned by student housing and working part time at Ink.  Sammy came in looking for a book; some horror novel for her father.  She was beautiful and she was classy… and she asked for my number.”  Her lower lip trembled as she reached her hand out and pushed the newspaper further away from her.  “I thought… I thought she was amazing.  We dated for a few weeks, and then we moved in together.  Her father hated me… hated us being together, but she didn’t care.  We loved each other and it was perfect… for a little while.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Sammy, she never really got over her mother’s death.  And she was really angry about what her father had done with that other woman.  So when he came down on her about our relationship she would throw the affair right back in his face.  It got really, really ugly between them and the more they fought the blacker her moods would get.”  She swallowed hard.  “She started… asking me to get rough… with her.”

 

“Rough?”

 

Serra nodded; her face flushing as she ground her teeth together.   “She wanted me to spank her, just a little at first, then more and more until I was leaving marks.  Twist her nipples more forcefully; bite her until…”

 

“Until what?”

 

“…until she bled.”  The blonde looked like she was going to be sick again.  ”And when I started saying no, that was when she brought that… that… woman home.”

 

Olivia’s eyebrows rose at the amount of venom in the young woman’s voice.  “What woman?”

 

“She was older, in her forties… maybe even her fifties.  She had short dark hair and these really intense eyes.  You know; the kind that can cut right through you?”

 

“Who was she?”

 

Serra gave her a sarcastic look.  “Trust me, when you meet the woman who’s fucking your wife behind your back, you don’t ask her name.”

 

Olivia nodded.  “What else can you tell me about her?”

 

“I only ran into her at the apartment the one time, after that Sam was careful to keep us apart.  I did see her a few times at the bar though.  I remember she had this incredible voice, like she should have been a phone sex operator?  Oh, and I think she drove a sports car.”

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

Serra shrugged.  “Because she was always wearing these black driving gloves.  I never once saw her without them.”

 

The detective kept her expression carefully neutral.  “You must have been angry that Sam was screwing around behind your back.”

 

The blonde sighed, her shoulders slumping.  “I hated it.  I hated that she needed her… but a part of me was relieved too.”

 

Olivia frowned.  “I don’t understand.”

 

“She wanted me to…do things… to her.”   Serra’s face contorted as tears streamed down her cheeks again.  “I tried… to be what she wanted, I tried!  But every time it just got worse.  Eventually I just refused.  I couldn’t do it anymore.  I couldn’t hurt her like that, even if she begged me.  Sammy came to me, told me that she loved me but that it was something she needed in her life and she was going to have it, even if it meant bringing someone else into our relationship. I told her I would try and deal with it, so long as she never brought her into our home again.  I actually managed to…for a while.”

 

The detective sat impassively, but her heart ached for the blonde as she watched her struggle with what she had to say.

 

“And then she had those… things… made.”  Serra’s voice rose, cracking slightly under the weight of the emotion it carried.  “They were terrible.  Like something out of a horror novel.  They made me sick.”  She dragged a hand through her hair.  “I told her I was done.  That I couldn’t stand by and watch her kill herself anymore and that I was moving out.”  The blonde pressed her lips together and Olivia could see the pain well up in her eyes.  “She sent me flowers every day until I left.  I didn’t hear anything from her for a couple of months.  Then those other cops started showing up, the ones she knew through her father.  They harassed me constantly, prying into my life, telling me I should be grateful that someone like Sammy wanted me.  That’s why Shelley was so rough on you.  She thought you were like them.”

 

Olivia’s face had gone hard.  “Do you remember their names?”

 

“What does it matter?  Sammy’s dead.”

 

“They need to be held accountable for their actions, Serra.”

 

She shrugged.  “Like anything would happen to them.” Her voice was hard, bitter.  “I know better.  When that creepy guy started following me around and talking to all my friends, I went to the police and reported him. Nothing happened.  They all but laughed at me.”  She shook her head again.  “It doesn’t matter anymore.  What else do you want to know?”

 

Olivia looked her directly in the eyes.  “Tell me about the car.”

 

Serra blinked then looked away quickly.  “What about it?”

 

“We had it towed to the impound yard.  What’s a student working part time at a used book store doing with a brand new Lexus SC 09?”

 

“Last I checked going into debt wasn’t a crime.”

 

“No, but lying to the police is.”  Olivia shot back.  “We traced the temporary registration back to the dealership, Serra.  You laid out sixty-four grand in cash for that car just over a month ago.  Where’d you get the money?”

 

“What does it matter?”  The blonde’s jaw was set in a stubborn line.

 

The detective rolled her eyes.  “When you start throwing around money like that just weeks before you inherit a fortune, it tends to raise a lot of questions.”

 

Serra stared at her blankly.  “What are you talking about?”

 

Olivia opened the file in front of her and slid a copy of Samantha’s will across the table.  “She left you everything.” 

 

The young woman’s eyes grew impossibly wide and filled with fresh tears.  “Sammy…”  She whispered as she dropped her head into her hands. 

 

The detective had seen a lot of fake emotions in her years as a cop and she knew that what she was witnessing now was the real thing.  Gathering up the papers she closed the file and rested her hands on top of it.  “Look, if you were home with Shelley then you shouldn’t have any problem giving us a DNA sample right?  To exclude you?”

 

“I don’t have anything to hide.  I’ll give you whatever you want.”

 

“Including access to your financial records?”

 

The blonde’s head shot up.  “No.  DNA, fingerprints, blood…whatever; you can have a fucking pap smear if you want it.  But I didn’t hurt Sammy.  That’s something I could never do.  So the rest is none of your business.”

 

Olivia sighed.  “This would go a lot easier if you just cooperated.”  She rubbed her jaw.  “Don’t forget we still have you for assaulting a police officer.”

 

Serra squared her shoulders and pulled together what was left of her dignity.  “I’m truly sorry about that.  I was angry and scared and I took it out on you.  I’ll take responsibility for my actions, but I won’t let you, or anyone else, dismantle my life ever again.  Take your DNA, but if you want anything else, then I want a lawyer.”

 

Olivia nodded.  Picking up the file, she turned to go, only to pause in the doorway.  Glancing back at the young woman, she asked softly, “If you loved her so much, what were you doing at Velvet, trying to hook up with me?”

 

Serra looked up at her with sad, haunted eyes.  “You ever love someone you couldn’t be with, Detective?”  She stared down at her hands as she whispered.  “It’s lonelier than never being in love at all.”

 

            *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *          

 

“So?”

 

Olivia raised her eyebrows at Cragen as she entered the observation room. 

“She’s hiding something, that’s obvious.”  She rubbed the side of her neck.  “What I can’t figure out is what and why.”

 

“How many reasons could there be, Olivia?”  He snapped.

 

She looked at him for a moment before laying her hand gently on his shoulder.  “I know this is tearing you up, Captain.  Just like I know you need this to be over now.  And I swear to you we are all doing the best we can.  I need you to trust me when I say that the girl in that room didn’t have anything to do with Samantha’s death.  But she is hiding something; something that might be able to shine a light in the right direction.  We just need to figure out what it is.”

 

Cragen nodded, his eyes conveying a silent apology.  “I’ll get a tech up here to collect her DNA sample.  You go talk to Cabot.  We need a look at Tate’s financials and we’re going to need a subpoena to get it.”

 

Olivia paled slightly.  “Uh… It’s Saturday.  Maybe I should just page her assistant.  I don’t want to drag her in…”  She trailed off when the Captain looked at her curiously.

“Liv, you know damn well that no assistant is going to be able to get a judge, any judge anywhere, to sign off on this. We need her clout and her support to push this through.”  He shook his head.  “Besides, she’s at her office.  I just spoke to her.  She called to make sure we shook Tate loose and I filled her in on the assault charge.  Somehow, she didn’t seem convinced that you hadn’t baited Tate into taking a shot at you.”

 

Olivia rolled her eyes. Of course she would think that.

 

Cragen ignored the look, calling back over his shoulder as he walked away, “Get over to her office pronto.  I want that subpoena yesterday.”

 

Olivia sighed.  Yesterday I would have had a better chance of getting it…

 

 

            *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *          

 

Alex looked up curiously when someone knocked on her office door.  It was Saturday, and while the DA’s office was mostly empty, even the janitorial staff knew better than to bother her when she worked weekends.  “Come in.”

 

Olivia poked her head through the door, swallowing when she saw the ADA’s expression change from tolerant curiosity to obvious anger.  “Hey, Alex.  You got a minute?”

 

“Not really.” 

 

The brunette sighed and stepped into the office, closing the door behind her.  “Alex, if you would just listen to me, let me explain-“

 

“Explain what, detective?”  The blonde’s voice was formal and completely devoid of any warmth whatsoever.

 

“I didn’t mean…”  She shoved her hands in her pockets.  “I didn’t know that you would be there!  How the hell would I know that?  I didn’t even know you were gay!”

 

Alex was caught off guard by the detective’s admission, but it did little to make her feel better.  She took a deep breath.  “Well you certainly didn’t stop me from making a fool of myself did you?”

 

Olivia’s eyes softened.  “You didn’t make a fool of yourself.  You never could.  Not with me.”

 

“Oh?”  The ADA’s eyebrows rose dangerously.  “And what about with your partner?  Or Fin and Munch?  Were they down there too?  How am I ever going to walk back into that precinct and expect them to take me seriously after they heard me practically throw myself at you?”

 

Olivia looked at the floor, using the tip of her toe to try and rub out a scuff mark she spotted there.  “They didn’t hear anything.”

 

Alex tilted her head, sarcasm plain in her features.  “And how is that?  Did they all go for coffee and donuts at the same time?”

 

“I… I pulled the mic.”

 

Alex’s eyes widened.  “What?”  She whispered.

 

Olivia sighed, running her fingers through her still all too curly hair.  “When I saw you… when I knew you were coming over to talk to me… I pulled the mic.  No one heard anything, Alex.”

 

For a moment, the ADA’s expression softened then the steel and anger flooded her features again.  “So you violated protocol?”

 

Olivia rolled her eyes as she threw her hands in the air.  “Jesus, Alex!  I did it to protect you!  What the hell do you want from me?

 

The blonde straightened her glasses and stared at her impassively, not giving an inch.  “Why are you here?”

 

The detective frowned.  A big part of her job was knowing how to read people; what they were hiding, and what they really meant by the things they said and didn’t say.  Olivia was very good at her job.  On the surface, Alex looked calm and collected, almost serene, just as she did before every well rehearsed summation in front of a judge and jury. 

 

But beneath that was an undercurrent of something she had never sensed in Alexandra Cabot before.

 

Panic.

 

Even in the few moments she stood quietly observing her, Olivia could see small cracks in the counselor’s performance; a twitch at the corner of her mouth, the slight elevation of her heart rate, shown only by the skin that jumped erratically at the pulse point in her neck.  Signs so minute that even most cops would have missed them. 

 

Jesus…  How long have I been watching her, that I can see all this in barely one glance?

 

Olivia didn’t think she wanted to know the answer to that question.

 

Regardless, the ADA was very much like a cornered animal at the moment, and she wasn’t about to push her any further.  Dropping her eyes, she let her finger play against the corner of desk.  “We need a warrant.”

 

The blonde’s eyebrows rose.  “This should be amusing.  For?”

 

“Serra Tate’s financial records.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because she’s hiding something.”

 

Alex leaned back in her chair.  “And you know this… how?”

 

Olivia sighed and ran her fingers through her hair again, not noticing the eyes that followed the path of her hand.  “She gave us everything we asked for, Alex, even DNA, but she was adamant about not letting us look through her financials.  There is definitely something there she doesn’t want us to find, something missing from the information we got from Samuel Wainscott.  I can feel it in my gut.”

 

The blonde pursed her lips. “So, let me get this straight.  You want me to take your ‘gut’ to a judge and put my ass on the line to get you a warrant?”  She laughed sardonically.   “I could swear we’ve had this conversation before.”

 

“I’m sure you know someone that could push it through.” Olivia commented quietly.

 

Alex felt her blood pressure rise as her anger overrode her manners.  “You want me to use the undue influence of a judge who is personally involved in this case to sign off on a court order that you don’t have the evidence to support?”

 

She didn’t blink.  “Yes.”

 

The blonde took off her glasses, slamming them down on her blotter. “Well, that is typical Benson behavior, isn’t it?”  She came out from behind the desk, her arms folded across her chest as she stared at the detective with barely disguised contempt.  “Do whatever you have to, say whatever you have to, break whatever rules you need to, as long as you get the results you want.  Scruples are just things the rest of us have to worry about, right?”