April Fool
by Sazzy
February
2008
(original 2005)
Disclaimer:
It all belongs to
Rating: PG-13
Codes: J/7 (so don’t get too worried by the start!)
Thanks: The original idea for this fic came from a challenge back in 2005. Unfortunately I don’t know who issued the challenge (it was a secret), but I’d like to thank them anyway for the original inspiration…I won’t spoil it by saying what the challenge was ;)
Chakotay brought his tea over to the desk in his ready room, sitting down and taking the first report off the pile before him. The words on the PADD drifted lazily past his eyes as his mind wandered to what he would be doing when his duty shift ended, most notably heading straight to the holodeck to run his special program. A chime at the door brought him back to the present before he got too far with his latest fantasy, and he placed the report that he hadn’t been reading back down as he called out to grant admittance.
As soon as he saw who his visitor was, a smile started edging the corner of his lips. “Captain,” he greeted sardonically, “What can I do for you?”
The Captain didn’t respond immediately, sweeping across the room towards him in silence. Chakotay could feel his pulse quickening at the sight of the powerful woman heading his way, intense blue eyes fixed on him. If he didn’t know better he might have been scared by the unrelenting scrutiny, but he could see the playful twinkle that lay within her eyes.
Janeway perched herself on the edge of the desk, on the same side as Chakotay sat. She was much closer than normal decorum might dictate, almost sitting between his legs. “I don’t know, what can you do for me?” she asked invitingly.
Chakotay grinned, happy to play the familiar game. “Whatever you want,” he answered.
The Captain smiled in return, sliding off the desk and leaning in towards him, resting her hand on his knee to brace herself. Her auburn hair flopped enticingly about her face as it crept forwards, halting mere inches from Chakotay’s own. “I knew you were going to say that,” she said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. The husky tone sent shivers down Chakotay’s spine. “But what about you,” she added, “Would you like me to…” she paused, licking her lips, “…kiss you?”
Chakotay could only nod dumbly, too entranced by the vision before him to engage in normal speech. He found he had lost the use of his limbs too, pinned in place by the sheer animal force of the woman before him. The Captain leaned ever closer, so close that he could smell her perfume, sweet and intoxicating. Chakotay had to take a great shuddering breath as she continued her approach, teasingly avoiding his lips and dipping her head around to the side of his instead.
“Would you like me to…” she paused tantalisingly again “…touch you?”
Once again Chakotay merely bobbed his head, the heat sweeping through his body precluding any rational thought.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Janeway purred, her breath hot against his ear.
“Oh yes,” he finally managed, barely able to get the words out of his dry throat.
Janeway was back in front of him now, hands either side of him on the armrests of his chair. He didn’t know where to look, his eyes drifting from staring down the opening of her tunic top up to her face. As her lop-sided grin crept across it the anticipation was almost too much for Chakotay. His breathing was coming hard and fast as he waited for her to make the move.
“Too bad!”
Suddenly Janeway pulled back. Chakotay went to follow her only to find that he was somehow bound to his chair.
“What the hell?” he cried noticing the rope tied tight round his torso. “How did you do that?” he asked in shock, looking up to the Captain who stood above him with her arms crossed.
“I thought you liked to play games?” she asked innocently, though he could detect a nasty edge to the question, “Or is that only on the holodeck?”
Chakotay gulped nervously, able to feel his adam’s apple bobbing against his suddenly tight collar. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t lie to me!” snapped Janeway, “I know all about it – your sick little fantasies. Well you’re not the only one who can do humiliation.”
Chakotay felt a sudden draft around his legs and torso, glancing down to see that his clothes had miraculously vanished, all apart from one item.
“Nice thong,” noted Janeway sarcastically.
Chakotay’s face was burning in shame as he looked back up. “That’s not mine,” he whined, “I don’t know how that got under my uniform.”
“Stop your whimpering,” said Janeway with disdain, “You’re a little pervert, and little perverts need to be punished.”
Chakotay felt incredibly small under the Captain’s penetrating gaze, the fear within him very real now as he started to tremble. Certain parts of his anatomy also felt incredibly tiny in their near exposed state.
“But what to do?” considered Janeway. She thoughtfully stroked her chin as she stalked round behind his chair, coming to a halt when she was on the other side of him. She fixed him with a look of open malice before glancing over to the far side of the room. “What do you think, darling?”
Chakotay’s eyes shot to the area where Janeway had directed her question, seeing another figure stepping from the shadows.
“Seven?” Chakotay immediately identified, “How did you get in here?”
Seven ignored his question, sauntering over to stand just behind Janeway. Chakotay watched in dumb amazement as she started stroking her fingers seductively down the arm of Janeway’s uniform while ferally eyeing up the bound commander from over the Captain’s shoulder.
“It is a conundrum indeed,” agreed Seven, her hand reaching Janeway’s where her fingers entwined in those of the Captain.
The Captain suddenly swung round, her free hand shooting up to round the back of Seven’s head. Chakotay could only gawp as the Captain pulled Seven to her, melding their lips together in a passionate kiss. The kiss stretched on for long moments, Janeway hungrily devouring Seven’s mouth while the younger woman’s hand roamed down the Captain’s back and grabbed her buttocks, jamming their hips together. Chakotay was unable to tear his eyes away from the erotic sight, squirming in his chair as he felt the corresponding stir of arousal in his scant underwear.
For a moment he thought they’d completely forgotten about him, so consumed in each other were they. The Captain was moaning loudly now as Seven trailed her lips down Janeway’s neck, nipping and sucking all the way. When Seven slipped her hand down between Janeway’s legs, eliciting a guttural groan of pleasure, it was all too much for Chakotay.
“Oh god,” he cried, his voice hoarse and ragged.
The two women immediately stopped, slowly turning their heads to view him like he was some insignificant bug; a bug that had interrupted something of great importance and deserved to be squashed.
“Ah yes, I forgot we had company,” remarked Janeway, finally letting go of Seven, though not before she gave the young woman’s bottom a playful pinch.
“That can be remedied,” added Seven menacingly, her eyes sweeping over Chakotay like a hungry animal sizing up its prey.
Chakotay, meanwhile, was sincerely starting to regret his outburst.
“Yes, I believe we were discussing what to do with the Commander before you distracted me,” Janeway recalled, offering Seven a sly grin. “How should we dispose of him?”
“It should be painful,” offered Seven, “Maybe we could put him out the airlock?”
Janeway considered it for a moment. “No, too boring,” she finally concluded, “How about we roast him over an open fire, see how the wood burns?”
“The stench might be overpowering,” countered Seven.
Chakotay could hardly believe they were discussing him like this, but at the same time he dare not speak up, too frightened that they would turn on him there and then. While he cowered, they came up with more and more outlandish suggestions of ways to get rid of him. Finally Seven said something that gave Janeway pause.
“We could drop a cow on his head.”
Janeway merely looked at Seven incredulously. “Sometimes I worry about the way your mind works, darling,” she noted.
“I read it somewhere,” said Seven, “And you know you love it really,” she added, an evil smile crossing her face.
Janeway’s smile was equally wicked, before she swiftly pushed the young woman back against the desk sending Chakotay’s reports tumbling to the floor. Thrusting her leg between Seven’s thighs, she bore down on her, wantonly kissing the full red lips. This was good, considered Chakotay, maybe they really would forget about him this time.
Unfortunately for him Janeway eventually broke off, leaving Seven gasping on the desk. Seven slowly straightened up, composing herself. “We could just go for the tried and tested method,” she suggested, tucking a stray strand of blond hair back away.
“Assimilation?” deduced Janeway, “Good idea.”
Seven turned to Chakotay, raising up her left hand from which her tubules were now protruding. “Resistance is futile…”
“Oh, I love it when you say that!” interjected Janeway excitedly, clapping her hands in glee and causing Seven to pause momentarily on her deadly course towards Chakotay, “It makes me so horny,” she noted wistfully. Seeing that Seven was waiting for any further words, Janeway waved her on. “Hurry up, so we can get back to my quarters.”
Seven nodded, focussing on the helpless Chakotay once more. He desperately tried to squirm away, but there was no escape.
“No!”
Chakotay jolted awake.
Peeling his face off his desk where it was resting, he wiped away the drool that had trickled from his open mouth onto the smooth surface. He leant back heavily in his chair, sighing in gratitude that what he’d just experienced was only a dream, if a chillingly realistic one.
Too many late nights in the holodeck, he thought to himself ruefully.
Maybe it was time to try and cut down on them, he considered, especially if he was falling asleep when he was meant to be on duty. However, he didn’t think anyone could stay awake when faced with the unending boredom of personnel reports. Before him sat a huge stack of them, mockingly waiting his attention. His head started to pound at the mere prospect of wading through them. The dull pain was centred just above his left eye, and he rubbed roughly at this face in that vicinity trying to ease the throbbing. It did little to help and when the chime to his ready room sounded it was like a dagger being jabbed into his skull.
“Come in,” he groaned.
Harry Kim entered, absorbed reading the PADD in his hands.
“Commander, I’ve just got…”
As his eyes came up to regard Chakotay, Harry stopped what he was saying abruptly. His mouth hung open dumbly where it had left off as he stared at the Commander.
“Is there something wrong, Ensign?” asked Chakotay, perplexed by the other man’s behaviour.
“Er…ah…not at all,” stuttered Harry, seemingly unable to take his eyes off Chakotay’s face.
“You have something for me?” prompted Chakotay impatiently, not really having time for whatever stupid game Kim was playing, especially not with his incessant headache still drilling away at his temple.
“Yes,” agreed Harry, glancing briefly down at the PADD, “Operations reports.”
As he handed them over his eyes were back on Chakotay’s face again, and the Commander could now see the start of a smile creeping across the ensign’s face.
“Thank you,” said Chakotay, ignoring the obvious scrutiny, “If that’s all?”
Harry started, having been too absorbed in his staring. “What? Right, yes, that was all. Good day, Commander.”
As he practically ran out of the room, Chakotay could swear that he heard the sound of laughter just before the doors swished shut. Chakotay had no idea what it had all been about and he chucked Harry’s report on top of his mountainous pile as he sat back in his chair rubbing at his painful head again.
Maybe he would pay a visit to the holodeck later he determined – he could certainly do with some stress relief. Thoughts of the holodeck led him inevitably to who would be there ready and waiting to fulfil his every desire – Mistress Katrine. He supposed there was something faintly seedy about having a holographic recreation of the Captain at his disposal, but it was far too much fun for him to be unduly worried.
He thought that maybe today he would make her a bit more submissive, since he didn’t really fancy the reminder of his earlier dream that some of his more risqué scenarios might elicit. He was pondering what to dress her in, or more accurately what not to dress her in, when there was another chime at his door.
Letting out a brief curse he sat up straight. “Come in!” he called in annoyance.
The doors opened to reveal Tom Paris who had barely gotten over the threshold when his sniggers started. Tom tried to cover it up with his hand as he crossed the room, but each time he glanced at Chakotay a fresh guffaw bubbled up in his throat.
“What is it you want, Lieutenant?” demanded Chakotay, getting up from his chair and coming round to stare at the younger man, trying to inject some seriousness into the situation. “I believe I already have the reports from sickbay and navigation?”
“Um…yeah….” said Tom, trying not to look at Chakotay so he could at least speak, though he was finding it difficult. “Uh…Harry told me….um…Harry said that he’d forgotten to give you this.”
Tom produced another PADD that Chakotay angrily snatched off him when the other man started chuckling once more.
“Thank you,” said Chakotay tetchily, turning back to his desk.
He was totally unprepared when
Chakotay swung back round in shock. “What the hell are you doing?” he demanded.
“Just as ordered,” noted Tom nonchalantly, having to bite his lip to stop any fresh laughter.
“What are you on about?” cried Chakotay incredulously. “Just get out!” he ordered, “Before I put you on report!”
He was sure the Captain did this to him on purpose – giving him all the crap to deal with while she swanned around getting all the glory on away missions or battling the Borg. As the last thought crossed his mind he considered that maybe deskbound work was safer after all. A nasty chill swept through him as he was reminded of the earlier dream and those snaking tubules inching towards him. Seven’s menacing voice echoed through his mind even now…”resistance is futile”…
This time Chakotay was actually glad when the chime distracted him. Tuvok entered, halting before the still standing Commander. When even his eyes crept up to Chakotay’s forehead in interest, Chakotay let out an exasperated sigh.
“What?” he demanded.
Tuvok’s dark eyes slid back down to meet the Commander’s. “Is there a particular reason your tattoo now reads ‘kick me’?”
Chakotay dashed straight into the small side room and up to the mirror, immediately able to see what Tuvok meant. Where once the tattoo above his left eye had been a native American design it now distinctly consisted of the words ‘kick me’.
“How the hell?” he cried, running some water in the basin and scrubbing at it, thinking maybe it wasn’t real.
When the new design didn’t appear to rub off he poked his head back out the door, covering his forehead with a towel. “I’m sorry Tuvok, you’ll have to excuse me,” he informed the Vulcan.
Tuvok tipped his head and left the room. Chakotay wasn’t sure if it was paranoia but he was convinced he’d caught the barest signs of a smile on the normally impassive face before he left.
Chakotay crossed to his desk, supposing he would need the doctor’s help to sort out whatever had happened. No doubt he would find it hilarious too, as would the rest of the crew when Paris and Kim got round to telling them which would probably be in about five minutes flat. Chakotay on the other hand thought that it was less than amusing, and that whoever was responsible had poor taste in humour. Not to mention the fact that it hurt like hell – no wonder he had a headache!
As he sat down he noticed for the first time that there was a flashing light on his screen, indicating he had a new message. Calling it up his mouth dropped open as he read. Once he was finished he forgot all about the doctor, immediately dashing from the room, desperate to get to the holodeck and delete his program.
As he ran out he left the message waiting accusingly for his return:
Dear Commander Chakotay,
I know all about your puerile holodeck fantasies and wished you to know that you are not
the only one who can play childish games.
Consider this a friendly warning that you should cease and desist from
engaging in such recreation. You should
also delete the offending program, or next time it will be more than your
tattoo that is rearranged.
Sincerely,
A friend
p.s. Resistance is futile
