STAR TREK: VOYAGER
"On Golden Blonde"
An Original
J/7 Voyager Story
Ó2008 by The Dirty Pair
Inanity in May
2008
Disclaimer #1: This story is
an original work of fiction set in the pre-existing universe of Star Trek:
Voyager. As such, many of the characters
and references used within belong solely to Paramount Pictures. I have borrowed them for the purpose of creating
this scenario and promise to return them unscathed, and smiling, as soon as I
am done. No gain, monetary or otherwise,
is expected from their use and no copyright infringement is intended or should
be inferred.
Disclaimer #2: All original
characters and storylines contained herein belong to the author. (Like anyone
else would claim them! J ) This story may be archived upon request with
the stipulation that it must be posted exactly as it was written, with all
disclaimers intact.
Disclaimer #3: This story is
an exercise in inanity. It does allude
to a lifetime of love and sex between our dynamic duo,
so if that offends you, you’d best be disembarking pronto! (Next stop: The State of Denial, where men
are men and sheep are nervous!) If you
are under 18, then make sure you drink your milk! It is so important to good bone development! (Just ask the BQ! She has to change her body constantly!!) If this is illegal where you live, then you
should move to
Who To Blame: Everyone on
the Voyager Conspiracy!
This
one is dedicated to Zoey! It WAS her idea! (Yeah, blame her!)
This
little drabble is for The Dirty Pair I Forgot Day celebration. Don’t expect Hemingway…it’s
more like Jerry Lewis!
No
silver haired ex-ship jockey’s or gracefully aging former Borg drone’s were harmed during the writing of this story.
However, the Borg Queen did vaporize the counter boy at McDonalds when he
offered her a senior citizen’s discount!
To
all that makes us… what was that word again?
DNA
– we iz in
As
you get older three things happen.
The
first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
~ Sir Norman Wisdom ~
“Picture this, Delta Quadrant, whenever, Chuckles is telling the warrior story for the hundredth time and Seven walks over to him and simply wiggles her little finger at him, I am telling you BQ it was priceless”
“Come on now ladies, one quick swallow and it is done.”
“Picture
this, my ready room, whenever, Seven is telling me something important but I
don’t hear it because I am perving at her
breasts.”
The
BQ huffs quietly. “You know I
designed them…”
“Yeah
I wanted you so bad that I destroyed the cube.”
“Picture
this, Delta Quadrant, whenever, we are at Sandrine’s. Seven has her
hair down and is wearing a silver dress that clings to every curve. She
opens her mouth and sings like an angel. I am in awe of her beauty and
talent.”
The desire deepens; Queen with me assimilate.
When other foes fail and Starfleet flees,
Help of the helpless, O assimilate
with me.”
Janeway simply closes her eyes and quietly removes her hearing aids.
“All
things Borg and Beautiful
All species great and small
All things Borg and Beautiful
The Borg Queen assimilates them all”
Knock, Knock.
Janeway
slowly walks into the room and sits in the nearest chair.
The BQ is in the process of connecting her body to her aging head. Once connected she grasps her sagging skin and pulls it upwards trying to remove the wrinkles.
“BQ there are not enough clips in this quadrant to make your skin smooth again dear.”
BQ tries to reply, but realizes that she has pulled her face so tight that her lips are unable to move. Sadly she releases some of the clips and allows the folds of skin to resume their rightful place.
“I don’t know why they can’t give me a younger body you know.”
“Dear you would not know what to do with a young body” chortles Janeway
BQ simply sneers at her companion and steps down from the machine.
“So where are they taking us this time?”
“I don’t remember, but at least it is something new to look at.”
“Well as long as they do a MacDonald’s drive through I don’t care.”
“Knowing our luck we will probably end up at Tuvok’s Taste Emporium again.”
“Don’t even joke about that Janeway, my system has still not recovered from our last visit.”
The doctor arrives to escort them to the hover bus.
“So ladies are you ready?”
“Yes it would seem so doctor”
The doctor simply rolls his eyes and escorts the two elderly women out the door. They make their way to the front porch and slowly climb into the hover bus. Janeway assessed the other occupants and lead BQ to the back of the bus.
As they passed a hand slowly reached out and patted Janeway on the behind. She stopped and glared in the direction of the old man shriveled in his seat. His hair was grey and the black tattoo on the side of his face was hard to see amongst the wrinkles.
“Hey ladies come and sit with me. I got a great story you should hear. Once there was a warrior ……
BQ shoved Janeway as hard as she could and they made it safely to the back seat.
“Tell me again Janeway, why the hell couldn’t you leave him in the Delta Quadrant.”
“Trust me BQ I tried several times to loose him or have him killed but the bastard would always come back.”
“You should have tried harder.”
“Picture this, Delta Quadrant, whenever, I slowly open my eyes and turn my head. There next to me is the face of an angel smiling at me. Her blue eyes full of love and desire. Her hands are gently stroking my body. I sigh and move closer, enfolding her warm body in mine. Kissing her neck and breathing in the sweet scent of her. My hand closes around her perfect breast and feels the nipple contract with pleasure. I feel the wetness between my legs increase as her fingers begin to explore. I kiss her mouth moving my tongue hungrily inside.”
Janeway leans back and closes her eyes, remembering the softness and the desire.
“Picture this, Voyager Bridge, whenever, Chakotay smiling at you. He leans in closer and takes your hand, grasping it in his sweaty fingers. He winks and begins to puff out his feeble chest. He opens his mouth and begins to tell you the Warrior story, again.”
Janeway opens her eyes with a start and begins to turn pale.
“Why do you do that?”
“What”
“Remind me of the years I had to sit next to that moron.”
“Just trying to give you a reality check. It wasn’t all beer, babes and Borg you know.”
“Oh but the Borg babe sure made up for the rest of it you know.”
BQ simply scowled and continued with her knitting.
“What you making?”
“When?”
“Now, your knitting, what will it be.”
“You know, I have no idea. There was a pattern at some point but I can’t remember where I put it. So I just keep knitting now, keeps my hands busy.”
“My hands used to be very busy, and there was not ball of wool in sight.” Chortled Janeway. “In fact no balls of any kind were necessary.”
“Chaps?”
“Yeah…chaps…you know…those leather things where your ass hangs out?”
“That’s what she wore to bed?”
Janeway snickered. “When I was lucky.”
“And what did you wear?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“When she was lucky!” The silver haired ex-ship jockey laughed so hard her teeth popped out and hit the deck.
“Suave.” The BQ rolled her eyes. “Does she still feel lucky now, with you in your flannel robe and footy pajamas?”
Janeway scowled. “Well… what do you wear to bed?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“No…just Depends.” She shook her head as Admiral’s teeth shot across the room. “Hey, don’t laugh… Incontinence is Brutal…”
The End
(We are soooooooo sorry!)
